March 10, 2008

P is for Penis

No, no, no. Of course, it's not. It's for Porn. I mean Pervert. Well, close, actually. P is for Perverse. Or it will be when I turn in my manuscript. But when I saw this picture from Dayle Dermatis, I immediately thought, Look at all the penis porn! Which actually reminds me of this really funny conversation I heard at the local market. A woman I know casually (that is to say, on sight) was speaking to a man in line, saying, "Have you heard of this thing? This internet thing?" He looked astonished and said, "Yes, of course." She continued, "Well, do you know what they have on this internet? They have this Pop-Up Porn." She was speaking in a very loud voice, and every time she said, "Pop Up Porn," the man looked as if he wanted to climb into a hole in the ground. But he was trapped in line next to her, as she patiently described the evil invasive qualities of Pop-Up Porn. God, I was shaking with laughter by the time they left.

Here is what Dayle has to say about her Porn Collection:
This bookcase houses only part of my collection--what I would consider more "porn," and it lives in my bedroom closet (right by the door, which is always open, so it's not exactly hidden). Some of it also lives in my nightstand drawer; the issues of Variations wander back and forth. Erotica and erotic romance are in my office, shelved with the rest of the romances.

As for the items on top of the bookcase, I do historic re-creation and have an interest in erotica/porn throughout history--we weren't always as prudish as we are now! Here's what's displayed:

Back row, l-r: Cutout of Dawn character from series of graphic novels. No, this isn't an historically related item. I just love it. Next is a replica of a 10th-C German pot with penises on it. Finally, there's a small gift book about historic erotica from the British Museum.

Front row, l-r: Ermine fur (personal for my husband and I...long story about us mating like weasels, etc.). Winged penis from Pompeii, replica of those found there. (I have a great story about exploring the "red light district" in Pompeii, but it's better told in person, with accents.) Postcard depicting an early 18th-C drinking vessel. I have a replica of one (not the same one depicted on the postcard) as well, but that lives in the china cabinet in the dining room, and yes, I have been known to bring it out when I have tea parties. It's a creamer, of course. Finally, a collection of replica "rude" pilgrim badges from about the 1400s.

Any more? Pics of your porn on bold display or hidden away? I'm waiting. Impatiently. But while I wait, I'll have to check out this internet thing. I'm on the lookout for pop-up porn.



Raven said...

Still looking for the digital camera in hiding to photographically capture the porn cabinet, but obviously I've read one too many kids' books today. Upon reading this, I immediately imagined a colorful pop-up book of erotica and thought it'd be a wonderful addition to my cabinet.


Alison Tyler said...

I'm such a snoop, I don't know why I didn't think of this sooner. Of asking people to send me pictures of where they stash, display, or hide away their porn. I mean, I'm the type of nosy parker who wants to know what's in people's purses and wallets and fridges. But this concept appeals to me in multiple ways.

A pop-up porn book would be delightful. Does one exist already?


Raven said...

This definitely beats pondering, "I wonder what's in the medicine cabinet."

Hm. No, not always. *smile*

A few years back the BBC had a brilliant series called Coupling - not to be confused with NBC's botched attempt at importing it for American viewers. In one episode the character Steve expains the concept of the porn buddy as the person who, in the event of one's untimely demise, clears out the porn stash before people such as parents, children, etc., stumble across it going through the decedent's personal effects.

Along with a plethora of porn on the bookshelves, we have a wood trunk (toy collection) listed in our will that is willed, unopened and still locked, to my godson who knows to dispose of it as he sees fit. Lest one worry about the prudishness of a godson, let's just say he's hosted bondage workshops in his living room for me.

And I have no ideas on the existence ofa pop-up porn book, but I can imagine some naughty Seuss-esque rhymes to go along with it.


Jeremy Edwards said...

A pop-up porn book would be delightful. Does one exist already?

Is this close enough?

And ... I realize "decedent" is indeed the correct word here:

going through the decedent's personal effects

But I have to confess I read it as "decadent" the first time through! ; )

Raven said...


I certainly hope I'm thought a decadent decedent when someone's curiosity triumphs and the trunk is opened. ;-)