March 23, 2008

Tied up with String

I’ve been talking with Stephen Elliott about doing an interview for my Trollop Salon. I had all of these wicked (or possibly whacked-out) ideas. First, I wanted him to send me a list of his favorite things—I thought he might write a little paragraph about why each one made his list, and I would buy one of each item to give to a lucky commenter. Of course, that could get expensive if his favorite things included, say, a Sportster. Or an apartment in Paris.

Still, I could envision a box containing a variety of the items he’d named—a brown paper package tied up with string. But ultimately, I wanted more from him than a simple list. Is that bad? So then I thought that he might write a piece in which he jotted down what he was doing every hour in a 24-hour period (of those hours he was awake, at least). He’s tentatively agreed to do this. It’s the closest I can imagine to actually following him around and taking notes.

Why don’t I just interview him like a normal person? Because that’s been done. And also because he’s pervy and unusual, and I thought knowing what he was doing at odd hours of the day would be a turn-on. (At least, for a voyeur like me. I don’t know about you.) But while I’m waiting for him to send me his 24-hours with Stephen Elliott article (could we call it “Being Stephen Elliott”?), I wanted to post his list of some of his favorite things:

Drums and Guns by Low
Stoner by John Williams
The Royal Tenenbaums
small Moleskines that fit in your pocket
Dr. Bronner's Peppermint soap
t-shirts that are a little too tight with short short sleeves (but not sleeveless) and show your stomach sometimes, like the kind they sell for $19 at Kenneth Wyngart in the Castro (size medium)
Foray fine point pens, blue, that I buy 20 at a time
cheap silver earrings
Burgerjoint hamburgers and chocolate shakes
Good coffee
attention. i love attention

I adore this list. I mean, I practically worship it. Sure, I had to look up a few of the items. I know what Moleskines are. And I like Dr. Bronner’s soap, too. Good coffee. Check. (Well, really, any coffee. Coffee makes my world go around.)

Then I tried to think of what mine would be:

Gucci Rush
Sweet Tarts
Opaque tights in a rainbow of colors
Russet Moon lipstick by Chanel
Good steel handcuffs
The Lone Pilgrim by Laurie Colwin
Going Places, the Gerard Depardieu movie where he fucks Patrick Dewaere in a beach house
Junk Food t-shirts, especially "I’m a Pepper" and Wonderwoman
Deadliest Catch
Elvis (well, really, the line about Elvis in the movie True Romance. You know, the “I’d fuck Elvis” line. But also Elvis. Should I put up pictures of me at Graceland? Or will you all stop speaking to me?)

I’m in that mood. That entertain me mood. Would you share 10 things you like? I might just put together a box of odds in ends—some of Stephen Elliott’s favorite things. Some of mine.


P.S. Chandler Burr reviewed Gucci Rush last week. I was nervous, because this is my favorite perfume. But he gave the scent a top rating: 5-star transcendent! Still I disagreed with his description ("But beneath the surface, Gucci Rush runs on lactones, marvelous synthetic molecules that give off the fresh-chilled aspect of yogurt, with a hint of the plastic container it comes in.") Yogurt and plastic? That’s not what I get when I take a whiff. For me, this fragrance is the embodiment of the color scarlet. I don’t know quite how else to describe it. Other than, in my head, it’s the smell of fame.

P.P.S. Oh, my god. This is a bondage bunny. I am in shock. And awe. Can I add it to my list of favorites?


Jim Donahue said...

--Prefab Sprout's Jordan: The Comeback
--My late grandmother's french fries (cooked in lard and drained by shaking in brown paper bag)
--A copy of Nicholas Christopher's A Trip to the Stars
--Maggie Smith's peformance in Alan Bennett's Talking Heads: Bed Among the Lentils
--Midlake's The Trials of Van Occupanther
--The collected works of Michael Powell and Emeric Pressburger
--Handmade sock monkeys, particularly vintage ones
--My homemade chocolate ice cream (from the Ben & Jerry's recipe book)
--Banana waffles from a recipe I got God-knows-where
--Arrested Development DVDs (all three seaons)

There's more food on there than there ought to be.

Jeremy Edwards said...

strong cheeses
jazz trios
striped fabric
corn bread
trompe l'oeil
bossa nova beats
What's Up, Doc?
the first sip of a drink
the rest of the drink
the sound of women speaking French

Smut Girl said...

*red wine
*laughing so hard i might pee myself
*all 8 of anne george's southern sisters mysteries (dog eared from abuse)
*get real lipgloss in peach
*slide on shoes (whether they be heels, flip flops, soccer mom loafers...if i can get in and out of them quick and they are sexy, i love them)
*more emails
*contributor's copies
*juicy couture perfume
*snogging lip gloss from Rimmel
*hair clips (while i grow this mop out for charity)
*my deep v neck american apparel tees in white, black, and granite

i was greedy. that's too many, isn't it? oh well.

jothemama said...

Ok, I can do better one on this, as I already wrote a 1100 fave things post for my 100th post.

I'd actually like to write 100 more.

How is that a bondage bummy? That's one fucking evil bunny! Yeek!

jothemama said...

Did I seriously type bummy? Oh dear. Worst typo ever.

Alison Tyler said...

Are you kidding me?
Best typo of all fucking time, I think.

And Jim, I love yours. I had to limit my food items on the list. I mean, I could have gone a bit crazy. Licorice. Rock Candy. Pop Rocks. Zots. Hmmm. I sense a candy theme. So I'll add pretzels off the cart in NYC. Oh, and I think I have a sock monkey for you, somewhere.

Jeremy, what about women speaking French while drinking? Or more specifically, Sommer speaking French while drinking red wine.

I am scared to check out your list, Jo. 1100? Holy fuck. Or was that a typo, too?


P.S. I also forgot Rome. How could I forget Rome?

t'Sade said...

Hrm, ten things I like:

1. The white chocolate/raspberry cheesecake recipe I spent three years trying to get perfect. I've had (playful) marriage proposals from people who liked it.

2. The white gold ring on my hand. Something about being with someone for twelve years that helps.

3. An overstuffed plush raccoon that sits over my computer desk, staring at my naughty books.

4. A leather dice bag that a girlfriend made me one day.

5. My first tarot deck. It smells of the most wonderful incense and has so many memories in those torn and folded cards.

6. Paksenarrion by Elizabeth Moon. That novel has probably influenced me more than any other writing in my entire life. I have two copies of it, just in case one gets ruined even more.

7. The small blue spiral bound book where I wrote poetry for a year. It has so much in it, a tsunami of emotions and memories that still shakes me up.

8. Sandalwood incense. If you ever want to get me calm, that's all you need.

9. Tuscon men's colone. Oh, that gets me in an entirely different mood. Being independent and a bit mysterious.

10. Be Delicious women's perfume. For some reason, that perfume just really cheers me up. I don't know why, but it has a neat scent to it that makes me want to curl my toes.

(11.) Portillo's fried chicken sandwiches with cheese and fries. I would drop to my knees and submit to anything for those things.

Jeremy Edwards said...

Jeremy, what about women speaking French while drinking? Or more specifically, Sommer speaking French while drinking red wine.

Brilliant! And combining items means I'll be able to add more foods to the list ... and more drinks ... and ... and ... and more women! Ooh, I like this game.

Anonymous said...

-looking forward to an illicit activity
-an oval chunk of amber on a necklace
-my library, I love being surrounded by all my books
-a sarcastic/bitchy comment made at a surprising moment
-my toy bag, including my vibrator
-afterglow/endorphin rush
-the boots I bought when I received my first acceptance letter
-my computer
-the sound of my man's voice saying "on your knees"
-my vibrator


jothemama said...

Ok, I have to slow down. Yes, it was 100 things. Oh dear again.

White chocolate raspberry cheesecake? Dreamy!I was a bit embarrassed by how many of the hundred things on my list were food, but then I just decided, feck it, and got on with it anyway.

Bunnies have gutz too!!! said...

Hey! thank you for featuring my BONDAGE BUNNY!!!

It is great to see that you like it!

Thanks to jothemama and for the nice comment! BUMMYS are good too!


Alison Tyler said...

Well, food and sex are these most basic pleasures, right? This is why I edited a collection about food and sex called Juicy Erotica.

And I love your list, msbehaves.


Shanna Germain said...

Oh, I fear I've been influenced by reading the other lists first...

Let's see:

--Drinking a yummy stout while watching Jeremy drink wine while he's listening to Sommer speak in French...

Damn. See? I've been corrupted!

I have to keep it to true and real things then, not scenerios. Things I own even, otherwise I'll be here all day:

1. My little black mac book. Has survived two falls and a serious coffee spill.
2. Books (can't get more specific than that--too many)
3. My hybrid specialized bike, white, named Saraswati, for the goddess
4. My custom-made platinum and sapphire engagement ring, which is incredibly dented and scratched, but which I love to this day.
5. $15 black leather Nine West boots from a vintage store that actually fit over the muscles in my calves.
6. The art in my house that has been made by friends or artists that I know
7. Flirting (okay, not a thing, but should be)
8. Great writing. Knock me on my ass with words, please.
9. Laughing too loudly in public. Laughter in general.
10. Iced soy mochas and or pomegranate bubble tea.
(11) Great eyes. Blue or green, ideally.


Okay...must stop. Must.

Best, s.

Angell said...

WOW - um, ok. Here goes:

*lip gloss - LOVE lip gloss esp those that are flavoured and leave your lips shiny, plump and edible

*long hot bubble baths where the water STAYS hot (ok, this only happens in my imagination but still)

*standing in the moonlight on a crisp fall night

*books that I can't put down to save my own life

*my iPod (which goes along with my music so I consider them one)

*Styx - the band not the river

*foreign accents (most of them)

*Ciclon rum (amber rum, tequila and lime - does it GET any better?)

*a nice HUGE spliff at the end of the night

*notebooks - untouched, crisp, white sheets waiting to be filled with inspiration, doodles or just nonsense

*Pilot G-Tec-C4 pens with the 0.4mm FINE writing tips

*Yvan Pedenault in We Will Rock You (playing in Toronto until May 11th - he's just so YUMMY and French to boot)

*sexy, baritone voices that make my legs tremble and my nipples stand on end when they sing (the voices not my nipples :P)

*every wonderful person I've had the opportunity to gain knowledge of while being present here

I'm sure there's tons more - maybe I'll take a page from Jo and try a list of 100 of my favourite things on my blog.

Raven said...

I'm still contemplating the strong cheese, the raspberry/white chocolate cheesecake and the vibrator.

Leather to wear or to play with. My first pair of fuck me boots.

The curves of a woman's body...especially gentle curve of the back down to the ass.

Fresh baked shortbread paired with coffee from the local coffee shop/roaster

My black SUV with the plate frame reading, "my safeword is more."

That for my 30th birthday my husband gave me a shirt with MYLF embroidered on it for "mother you'd like to fuck"

The old--time western picture from our honeymoon where my husband and I both dressed in drag

My leather sea queen renaissance fair garb from Pendragon costumes

A simple dinner of grilled chicken, zucchini and potatoes - all BBQ'D by our friends next door.

Anticipating a really hot BDSM scene...the nervous thrill in the pit of my stomach

Hot wax

Floggers wielded well

Having my hair pulled well

Hitachi's Magic Wand

Flirting. Seducing.

Port served with dark chocolate

The sacred drama of the Easter Vigil liturgy done well

PG said...

I shouldn't have read the other lists first. Not that I've been influenced (though I have! I have!) But because now I'm worried mine will seem vanilla and boring in this company.

-Speaking of Vanilla- Vanilla Lace perfume from Victoria's Secret
-Project Runway
-having all my books out of boxes and on shelves
- books: any size, any form, any topic
- Ikea
- getting packages in the mail. Even if its stuff I purchased opening them feels like a present
- bananna chocolate chip pancakes
-peanut butter
-CSI, Vegas edition
- Friends for whom you don't have to edit your snarky comments
-striped socks

Alison Tyler said...

None of these are boring or vanilla! I LOVE them. Oh, and the only time I ever asked a woman what perfume she was wearing, it was that vanilla one from Victoria Secret! I horrified the friend I was with. She thought I was rude to ask. But I was either going to ask, or follow the woman around the bank, sniffing her.

Am a bit drunken. Scuse me, please.


Jeremy Edwards said...

But I was either going to ask, or follow the woman around the bank, sniffing her.

Laughing my ass off!

But seriously ... are you implying that I should stop following women around my bank and sniffing them? I swear, I'm usually pretty good about not following them all the way into the safe-deposit-box cubicles.

Jeremy Edwards said...

... though the branch manager at the bank never responds when I ask if she can manage my branch.

Alison Tyler said...

You're too much, Jeremy... Although I think I can sense a story taking place back there in the safety-deposit boxes...


t'Sade said...

Packages in the mail. Oh, that is one I forgot. I call my mailbox every couple days, hoping for a new package shows up. When it does, I'm out the door in ten minutes flat.

I will admit, hearing about hair being pulled got two responses out of me. One was that sigh of memory of when I had long hair. I never had someone pull it properly, but I suspect I'd get turned on. The other was it started showing up in my stories, in specific DL, with the long-haired characters. They have hair that begged to be tugged, pulled, and yanked during sex. :)

Oh, and friends. I like my friends who know I'm a pervert and, even if they aren't into the topic, are willing to talk about it or just let it pass. I love the friends that don't mind if I let my hand linger a bit too much, or the couples who make out in my living room and don't get upset when I get in a grope for the fun of it. Those are the good friends. ^_^

t'Sade said...

Sorry, I also forgot. If you want, I can post my cheesecake recipe. It is actually broken down into different parts, mainly because there is also a Bailey's Irish Cream variant and a coffee syrup variants.

kiki said...

mike & ikes
sex in the morning sun or afternoon sun
a real kiss (doesn't have to be the hard/tongue-laden kind - just one with passion behind it. even a small kiss can kindle everything when there is passion behind it)
brie with warm sourdough bread
ken renzie's spaghetti
sweet peas
dark chocolate
good red wine (doesn't have to be expensive, just good)
sonoma county
traveling in foreign places
being transported away by a good book, song, or movie
she goes on, message to my girl, italian plastic by crowded house & split enz
mojitos with mint from my garden
mojitos i don't have to make myself but are made for me by some lovely person
the perfect nightgown that flows just right and makes me feel amazing
god - how silly is this list of mine?!?
mustard on the green hills
oak trees that can be climbed
seriously - what the fuck kind of list is this?
really good latte with yummy sugar and a lot of whipped cream
iced coffee the way i had it in galicia - take the espresso in the wee cup, add sugar to it (if that is the way you like it -- which it is for me), pour it into a large brandy snifter that has chunks of ice. drink! you get the hot, the cold, the coffee and the sweet. just decadent. apparently, coffee is what i need. that would make a better list here.

Alana said...

Hi A,

I love that you're going to bring us more Stephen Elliot. Thank you.


jothemama said...

It's the best kind, kiki!

Alison Tyler said...

Agreed, Jo. Kiki writes a good list.
And Alana, I am curious about your list.


Raven said...

t'sade -

Would definitely love the recipe. Your offer to post (or e-mail if I'm the only taker) saves me from having to come up with a marriage proposal you haven't yet heard


Nikki Magennis said...

I'm late, I'm late -

A good pebble beach

Sunshine. Rain too. And snow Actually, weather. (Sorry, I'm British ... )

(Which leads me to: Tea)



Neon, especially next to grey.

Bongwater, Bonnie Prince Billy, Mazzy Star, Laurie Anderson and no I can't choose one band. Sod it. Piano music played in a room when you're walking past on the street.


Second hand bookshops.

Jacob's cream crackers with goats cheese and strawberries.

(... This is today's list, you understand. May I add 'the tendency to be fickle and change my mind every ten minutes as number eleven? )

Raven said...

oh yeah - one more prompted by Shanna's mention of Saraswati

Her story Knuckling Underin F is for Fetish is definitely on my list of favorites.


Alison Tyler said...

That is a great #11, Nikki. I think that should be everyone's #11. "Weather" is an awesome item.

On today's list I would have added:

The scent of a certain type of suntan oil (although I don't tan)
Tabasco sauce
Talking with my friends on the phone
High Fidelity
Day-long marathons of favorite movies (especially on days with some of Nikki's favorite weather)
Tom Waits' Rain Dogs
The Sunset Strip Tattoo Parlor
Thrift Stores
And the perfectly worn in pair of jeans.


jothemama said...

Goat's cheese and strawberries. That's a new one on me, Nikki. HAveyou tried those little Hovis biscuits, the ones in the shape of a loaf? I'd say that would work well.

Anonymous said...

Okay, now I want to change my list. But I don't know where to start.
I could pick stuff off other people's lists.(like mojitos or Jeremy's branch) Or I could do one that was just art, or just food. Or just sex yup. That's the one.
xxx back at ya, AT

michael said...

1-- Disintegration by The Cure (perfect for kissing on the couch at 4AM)
2--Yukio Mishima short story Patriotism
3--Skyn Iceland
4--Pink Riding Crop
5--Jim Thompson Pop 1280
6--12 year old Denim shirt that is as soft as silk.
7--Lemon bodywash
8--Fudge Brownies moist and gooey
9--Gin straight from the freezer
10--The Knee Socks She left draped over the dresser mirror

-11- Fresh brewed Iced Tea (mix Lady Grey and English Breakfast)

Allison Wonderland said...

1) the Halloween witch duck that I got from Bath & Body Works, with the cute little wart on its beak (of course, the wart is cute only because it's on an inanimate object... it wouldn't be cute if it were on, say, me)
2) The Golden Girls
3) Lip Smackers' milk chocolate mint lip frosting
4) Liz Lovely Cowgirl Cookies
5) my novelty bag that's designed to resemble a composition notebook
6) bendy straws
7) my thesaurus (also known as a glossary, a language reference book, a lexicon, and, my personal favorite, an onomasticon)
8) Scrabble
9) shoelaces with silly designs or patterns
10) my stuffed elephant that's clad in blue overalls, with the cursive yellow "L" that I stitched on the bib when I was obsessed with Laverne & Shirley

Jeremy Edwards said...

my personal favorite, an onomasticon

"Don't think of an elephant," indeed. Especially not a doubly autoerotic elephant.

my stuffed elephant that's clad in blue overalls

Aha! I knew it. There's something about workelephants, eh?

Lindsay said...

I've tried not to read other lists but I'm sure mine is a tad boring. Here's 10 things that make me happy...

1. Kinky book covers (I just saw Flash Fucking...divine!)
2. My laptop
3. Mocha Frapacchinos
4. Kinky conversations with my hubby (we're talking about Charlize Theron as I type LOL)
5. My Maroon 5 playlist
6. A new book, two hours alone in a quiet house with no children, and my mp3 player...heaven!
7. Orange-Mango Margaritas
8. My boys playing nicely together (rarely happens, but I can dream)
9. Anything chocolate
10. My porn closet

Allison Wonderland said...

A doubly autoerotic workelephant? Oh, my. Thanks to you, Jeremy, I will never be able to look at that stuffed animal again without blushing. :P

Jeremy said...

Black and white, black ink on white paper, any book, and sometimes film; I've been offended by people writing in cutesy colours.

French baked goods, bread to souffle, while all French food is good I'm particularly enamored with the baked goods.

Feature films shot in 70mm, namely "Playtime" and "Lawrence of Arabia," "My Fair Lady" gets an honorable mention for Audery's sake.

Booze, currently martinis, but I'll drink anything that isn't sickly sweet, with the exception of Grand Marnier which would go nicely with eggs for breakfast.

The internet, I'm here aren't I?

Conflict and resolution, physical, mental, emotional, it's all the same.

Women that can sing.

Yeah, I don't have ten things.

I too want the cheesecake recipe.

t'Sade said...

*blink* Doesn't everyone start off with their stuffed animals? Oh... nevermind.

:) I love these lists, some of them are fascinating.