May 02, 2008

A Woman You Love

Everyone knows ESQUIRE is my favorite magazine. I long to be a women they love. But if they can’t love me, I hope someday they might learn to like me a little. One of my favorite parts of ESQUIRE is their letters section—specifically “Highlights from Letters We’re Not Running.”

Because my inbox has overflowed this past week, I thought I’d pay homage (all right, rip them off) and do the same. Called “Excerpts from My In Box,” here are some of my favorite lines from this week:

Something very hot, action-packed and modern, and a bit kinky. Does that ring your bell?
I have this theory that Wednesdays are nutter days. Cos Weds are a little bit off. There's stg abnormal about Weds. It lingers. You can see it in people's eyes.
never too busy for you
I'm pretty sure she would not have appreciated that little Rocky Horror threesome in the movie theatre bathroom as much as I did - LOL!
You lie like a rug.
I was at a lobster shack in Maine and a friend who'd read my writing said ha, erotica, ha, how bout you write erotica about eating lobster?

As if that's a stretch.

Mother fucking idiot people...
(A warning, one is more kind than the other.)
I absolutely love your books. Once I start reading one I cannot put it down!
People are crazy.
See, I didn't try anything cute or snarky with my subject line lest I freak you out again.
Bring out the p0rn star in you today.
"Never put a sock in a toaster."
But it appears there are tons of people out there who "aren't bothered in the least by a bad review" and think the rest of us are hypersensitive. Ummm, I wonder how many bad reviews they've actually gotten?
I don't understand why everything's giving me different measurements. And I've only had two glasses of wine .....
I am writing you because Zane needs your physical address to send you your author copies of Purple Panties and check!

Gotta love this last one. Because I think this means I can publicly say that I am in Purple Panties. I am so excited. “Underneath” was a story I wrote specifically for the collection. To be in a Zane books means a lot to me. This book is available for pre-order on Amazon (official release date is th 6th). Remember, if you buy and like the book, please make sure to drop Zane a review!



Dakota Rebel said...

I would have to say my favorite of your excerpts has to be "Never put a sock in a toaster."
Fantastic advice. Much in the vain of not using your hair dryer in the matter how much time it saves.

Dakota Rebel

Allison Wonderland said...

LOL @ See, I didn't try anything cute or snarky with my subject line lest I freak you out again.

Can't wait to read Purple Panties. Of course, I should probably finish Melt with You first. And Best Lesbian Romance. And Bad Girl. Wow, I really need to kick this habit of reading multiple books at once.

Alison Tyler said...

That's a good one, isn't it? I'll tell you that the subject line that had freaked me out was: "Up Yours. Absolutely." I'll let the writer reveal herself if she wants to. She cracks me up!

Alison said...

I love the lobster. Wonder what she'd do with the big claw.

Raven said...

Snarky subject lines? Me?

Tis true - I sent the unflappable AT an e-mail with the subject line: "Up Yours. Absolutely." with a link to an ab fab vintage slip with the words "jezebel... trollop...whore..." and variations thereof all over it in script, something listed on Etsy. Truly my first thought on seeing it was that it was up her alley. Hence the subject line. And her super fast response. Thinking I was pissed off.

So no more snarky subjects. Today, anyway. Because while you wear trollop like a badge, my sash would read: brat. ;-)