Spell Me Something Dirty
Rearranging gummi letters into X-rated words gives a whole new meaning to playing with your food. Doesn't it? This snap was from Lady Raven, who has an even better word up on her blog.
I say fuck way too much, I think. There's just something so fucking satisfying about the word. I even like the way it looks when you spell it: F-U-C-K. (Is this why I like French Connection F-C-U-K perfume so much?) And speaking of spelling, I'm going to give away a vowel today—I Is for Indecent. So if you have some of the other books, you'll be able to extend the dirty words you can spell with the spines. Got Bondage and Games? Now, you can spell BIG. Got Leather and Exotic? Now you can spell LIE.What do you have to do to win?
I want... I want... What do I want?
I want you to share an indecent little secret. Make it hot. Make it short. Make it like the time I gave my boyfriend's roommate a blow job. (In my defense, my bf wasn't my bf at the time. But once he was, that secret between me and his roommate felt as indecent as anything I can think of.) Just be sure not to cross the lines from indecent to taboo (no underage, activity with farm animals, or cross-family relations). That was, of course, the difficult part of edting I Is for Indecent. I wanted to push boundaries without slipping into vulgarity, without making my publishers say their safeword. I think the writers in the anthology excelled. Or maybe they X-celled.XXX,
Alison
posted by Alison Tyler at 5:16 AM
15 Comments:
Hiya Alison,
I've never told this story before but since there is the chance to shag some swag I'll divulge here.
The classroom was not the room in which I earned my A in World History. It was my last semester of college and I was in full senior-slack mode but I needed the final liberal art credit to complete my degree. I actually visited professors in their offices shopping for a class with a light work load. Finally, I met with a mid-forties history prof. with whom I shared an instant sexual chemistry. She was really hot in a bookish older woman way and she had a rich breathy voice that just blew me away. "I don't think you will find my requirements to taxing," she told me before we fucked in her office that very day. Needless to say I registered for her class and made use of her office hours regularly all semester. I loved the way that small room smelled of her perfume and our sex as I was leaving each time. I did not do a stitch of the course work. I did not even sit for the final opting for a private oral instead. I did however collect my degree.
Shhhh, nobody knows about it.
JT
Wow jt, just um wow.
My secret is this: An artist friend said to me one day, "You have a nice round ass. Can I use it for my project?" I rarely say no, so I met her at her house, a small old place in the middle of a large desert city. The only cooling was from big fans. She laid me naked out on a massage table. Her husband rubbed vaseline between my legs "to keep this shit from sticking." Her project was making latex molds out of torsos and asses, then filling them with plaster to use as table bases. "You can't use just any ass to hold up a table top." The best part was when they started painting me with wet latex. The hot room, the cool liquid, trying to stay still, all of that hot air blowing around, then their hands working underneath the rubbery dried latex as they pulled it free. "Fucking Hot" in gummy letters is what it was. I moved to another city before my table base butt was finished. My friend was going to mail it to me but it never arrived. In fact, I never heard from them again. I hope my pretty 19-year-old ass is out there somewhere, steadying a glass top. I hope it's still nice and round and perfect.
JT...yum... :)
I'm not looking to win a copy of I is for Indecent, as I'm the owner of an increasingly well read copy, ta very much, AT!
But I'm such an exhibitionist - I just had to share.
Road trip to Vegas in an RV with 3 friends from work, including one with whom I shared quite a bit of chemistry.
We fucked 3 different times along I-15. The first time I cared if the others knew and tried to hold back my loud enjoyment.
By the end of the trip, I had no such inhibitions (I told you I have an exhibitionist streak), and we discovered that the 2 others enjoyed listening.
Raven
Thanks km,
Although I've kept my whole story secret I do often say that my well rounded liberal arts education has served me very well as a base for further understanding. ;-)
I love your story too. It seems your well rounded derrière serves as a great base as well!
How delicious!
Thanks to you too, Raven :)
JT
My "secret" is that I just read KM's account twice in a row and have no plans to stop anytime soon.
[Not an entry; too busy reading.]
Difficult to follow these stories, but I have been lusting for the I for a while . . so here goes.
I waited until 19 to get inked for the first time, and my sexy artist had already inked a couple of my friends. None of them were attracted to him. . We were all 'good girls' of the born again variety, although I was the only virgin of the group. He had black spiky hair, 2 full sleeves and that retro 50's vibe; plus sometime-drummer and full-time flirt. He talked me out of my shirt and bra during the 2nd half of the session, and virgin that I was, I was merely hoping for a bare-chested hug when he finished. When he told me to step down and look at my tat, he pulled me close; humble goal reached. My pants were already unzipped; my tat stretched down near my butt crack. He pulled down my leopard print panties and was impressed to see my bare skin. I remember him saying 'you didn't even flinch {when I pulled down your panties}' and next thing I remember is sitting in his lap, his fingers inside and the artist next door watching us instead of tattooing. He whispered dirty things in my ear that I wouldn't understand until months later, when I'd come back and lose that pesky V.
I don't think I slept at all that night.
- Jessica
Alison - would just like to say thanks for all the wonderful contests you're throwing these days. Even if I don't "win", I still win because I'm dragging out all these wonderful memories that I thought were buried in a deep, dark part of my psyche.
Indecent little secret huh? Well, let's see here...
Senior year of high school. The chaplains office. A group of us known as the Chaplaincy Riff Raff - called so because we never wore our uniforms proper, we never went to class, and we were always in the throes of ultimate slacking - had taken control of the chaplain himself, and he always allowed us to use his office, as long as we didn't get busted by anyone in administration. Just myself, and Dok. He had a crush on me and I'd never given him a second look.
Second period of the day - the office should have been empty. Father Miles was supposed to be giving a lecture in my OAC theology class, which I was skipping (technically I was repeating the class as I dropped out for a year - 18 feels so much older than 17 when your the one left behind). Sitting in Miles' office, my feet up on his desk, Doc Martin's casually undone and my skirt blowing in the breeze from the fan, I was reading a trashy romance novel. Enter Dok, with his headphones on and a copy of Interview with a Vampire in his hands. He flops on the sofa, giving me a courteous nod. Then, I hear the door open again. Thinking that it was just one of the Riff Raff seeking refuge from another boring class, instead I hear Miles' voice, WITH the vice principal. I hit the lights and dive onto the sofa, my hand across Dok's mouth. I'm praying that they have no reason to enter the office, and lie as still as can be. I feel my fingers moisten, as Dok begins sucking on my digits one by one. And sure as can be, my fingers aren't the onlythings moist now. His hand, trapped between our bodies, begins to gather the material of my kilt and pull it up. I hestitate briefly, and then move slightly to allow it. Then, with my heart pounding in my chest, and my thighs slippery with anticipation, he moves the slight material of my thong, and begins to rub my clit with his thumb, the rest of his fingers journeying their way down to my slit. Right then and there, he gave me the best orgasm I'd ever had. We didn't get busted, but it was a long time before we let anyone else join us in that room.
[Reluctantly tearing himself away]
Damn, I'd really better be moving along now ...
[Sees new stories posted by Jessica and Angell]
Um, Alison, is there a free chair? I think I'll be here awhile.
Wow Angell, that was a great story. Indecent indeed. And you call yourself "Angell"?
That’s such a great story, km! Just think—it’s a posterior for posterity!
Here’s my dirty little secret:
Years ago, a friend introduced me to a completely charismatic man with a fabulous accent. Every word that came from his lips sounded like some kind of sexy come-on. Even an offer of a cigarette sounded like an indecent proposal.
My friend was crazy about him, but he only had eyes for me. When he ran into me at a party, he whispered in my ear, “If you were my girlfriend, I would do such sick things to you. But you’re not. So I can only hope...”
I tried to be good, I really did, but he was just too kinky to resist.
Well, I never was his girlfriend, but that night unbeknownst to the other guests—my friend included—we wound doing completely dirty things to each other on top of the other guests’ coats in the spare bedroom.
Sophia, I just smiled a big smile of delight at that final strangely sexy detail -- "on top of the other guest's coats."
Anon: it was a name bestowed upon me from a very good friend...but that's another tale for another time. *wink*
All right. You all did it again. Now, I have to sneak up to the porn closet and count how many copies I have to give away. Back in a moment with the winner/s!
XXX,
Alison
Okay, so I have five to give away: JT, KM, Jessica, Angell, and Sophia. You know the drill—send your mailing address to msalisontyler at yahoo dot com. Hope you like these little gems!
XXX,
Alison
Angell, that is so cute, and rude, and cute. That's my favourite kind of story ever, innocent and naughty!
Post a Comment
Links to this post:
Create a Link
<< Home