I’m Not Fucking Prince
Look, I’m honestly not the type to chase down bad reviews. But for some reason, people email me links all the time. “Did you see this?” “Isn’t this review awful?” “Oh, poor you!”
I know I shouldn’t click.
I know I shouldn’t look.
But hell, I’m human.
And yet I’m a twisted sort of human, and I need to make something positive out of the negative. So here goes. Yesterday's reviewer said of the Erotic Alphabet Series: "I haven't read the others, but each has a main theme or subject, and with 27 different ones to choose from, there should be something for everyone."
You know where I’m going with this don’t you? No, well… Here’s a new contest. Please comment using the symbol that you would choose for the 27th letter, and tell me what the symbol would stand for. What do I mean? Well, A Is for Amour. B Is for Bondage. C Is for Co-Eds....
Is * for pegging?
Or is % for sixty-nining?
Give me a symbol and a new theme for the 27th book in my Erotic Alphabet series. No, I’m not fucking Prince, but I could be the artist formerly known as Alison Tyler. (Although, I don't think I could get away with his assless chaps.)
Trust me, I have a smashing prize for the winner! (A prize fit for a—wait for it—Prince.)
XXX,
Alison
P.S. The Good, The Bad, and The Unread has responded. With Prince videos, no less. Is it insane for me to counter a negative review? Look, I think that everyone's entitled to an opinion. But writers and editors are also entitled to respond. Especially about reviews that seem a bit unfair.
posted by Alison Tyler at 6:55 AM
33 Comments:
I may be missing something but I thought there were only 26 letters in the alphabet. What do you mean by the "27th"?
I think () should be for hoo-ha.
Wouldn't that look good?
() is For Hoo-Ha
edited by Alison Tyler
Lovely! ;)
xoxo
S
Yes, of course. 26 letters. But I'm picking on a poor reviewer who said there were 27.
Obviously, if she'd given the book an A, rather than a C, I probably wouldn't feel the need to poke fun.
I'm snarky like that. Sue me.
XXX,
Alison
∆ is for Menage
Oooh, I like that. A triangle. Perfect! And I don't have a menage theme in the series. M could have been for Menage, but it's for Master. And O could have been for Orgy, but it's for Orgasm.
And, Sommer, I'd comment on your Hoo-Ha, but I'm laughing too hard.
XXX,
AT
Hmmm...I'm miffed at the reviewers comments. Maybe we should collectively review the reveiwer. Sort of like stalking the stalker. Oh, never mind.
I like to make up my own words so much, so I think lettera27 should be blank (a mulligan letter) and look like the blank tile in a Scrabble game.
Oooh, I like that. But what would the symbol stand for, NB? If it's blank, is that an open theme? I'm looking for symbol + the meaning...
XXX,
AT
@-@-@-@-@-@ Is for Props/Toys. ;)
(Get it, they're anal beads. I just don't have the mad skills some people do with actual symbols in typing.)
XoXoXo
Dakota
I'm on the blank theme here, AT:
(sp)= blank. The blank space between each word.
Or
(b/) = blank. The b should have a line drawn diagonally through it. Sorry, coudn't paste that symbol into this post.
In the 17th and 18th century, Ampersand was taught as the 27th letter of the English alphabet. (X, Y, Z and Per Se from Latin, which morphed into ampersand and the & symbol)
So....I'm thinking "& Is for The Old In-Out."
I can't believe the reviewer won a book on Lust Bites and then claims to not like erotica. Huh?
:-)3
is for cleavage. Or corsets.
I have a reco: * is for sphincter, or clitoris.
I'm a reviewer on the site in question (TGTBTU). A "C" isn't a bad grade - it's not a great grade, either. It's average, in that reviewer's opinion. I haven't read the book, so I can't say one way or the other if I agree. But a C isn't a bad grade.
I'm thinking greek...
β (beta) is for butt (or breasts) seems to fit the theme and has a good look too.
However going purely on how the symbols look ω (omega) is way better.
I also like Ω (the big omega) is for orgasm. But you have used orgasm already anyway.
I really like the previous suggestion for delta (Δ).
Cheers
My problem with the review was the number of times the reviewer used I, me, my. It was an "all about me" review and said little about the work.
"I'm not fucking Prince," we know that Alison, I mean I think we do... ; )
It's a good thing you're not working with the Italian alphabet which up until recently only had 22 letters, J, K, X and Y went missing altogether. Well, X may only be for xylophone but sex is missing something. Y is for ?
ß is one my favorite letters, it's german for pußy or mußy, as in, the hair of her pußy was all mußy when I got through with her...
the hair of her pußy was all mußy when I got through with her...
Oh, Isabel, you hußy! She was all gußied up before you got ahold of her. Mind you, I don't hear her fußing about it. : )
Oh, DAkota! I love your anal beads! Jo and I can use them on our curtains. Right, Jo?
:D
xoxo
s
My! Many knickers in a twist over at the review site. It's Blog vs. Blog! I call for a mud wrestle!
I was going to say * is for Anal but Gwen kinda beat me to it...
I love jt's omegas...
Here are some more ideas:
# is for Orgy (symbol represents a pick-up stick human pile-up)
° is for Feverish
» is for Sex Dolls
Ø is for:
Not Tonight, I Have a Headache
No Orgasm
Closed for Repairs
Pause
! is for Wow
∞ is for 69
¿ is for Whatever Goes
§ is for Daisy Chain
Curious. If you are thinking greek, TJ,how come the omega 'Ω' is not for someone with the ass up in the air seen from behind?
Respectful Cheers,
Tessa
God, I love ! is for Wow!
XXX,
Alison
I'm Not Fucking Prince
Um, is the word "fucking" in this case an adjective or gerund?
;-)
Alison Tyler said...
God, I love ! is for Wow!
It's all yours, my dear.
By the way, the Sex Doll symbol might be hard to see. It's two brackets very close together
>>
to indicate Barbie doll perfection.
You're all so clever! I've said it before. Barbi doll perfection? Such lateral thinking!
Somer, heh heh, I thought of that too...
And funny double 's'es Jeremy - I have to confess, I had to fight not to read them as 'puby' and 'muby' the first time.
Is anyone having trouble naming twins?
PS I must go read up on the blog war. Nothing like a good blogcatfight.
ö is for Oral
Or for a collection about people getting caught in the act!
Tessa,
Yikes! You are totally right. How did I miss that. Looking for a symbol for embarrassed!
This whole thread is too funny!
Ω <mooning the crowd>
JT
You all are too funny!
Oh God! How could I have forgotten?
I coined this word, remember it, I have been using it for years, ever since, never mind... You'll read it in a story at Ruthie's coming up about September 1.
We are talking about eroticons. this is my favorite: db.
£ is for Pound
Enough said...right?
LOL.
jothemama said...
Is anyone having trouble naming twins?
I was going to use this:
æ or
Æ
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C3%86
to describe sex with conjoined fraternal twins but I was afraid I might get in some kind of trouble.
Isabel Kerr said...
We are talking about eroticons. this is my favorite:
db.
Wow! That is pure genius (upright cock and balls?)! Did you invent that? Stunning!
You all are wonderful!
Jeremy: You cagey cuß! You are just trying to make me laugh so hard I PIMP, but no I am only ROTFL.. :) :) :)
ellaregina, fucking Prince, that is the question of the day isn't it, but I never was good with the parts of speech. And yes, if you have ever had the breath taking experience of feeling the heft of a magnificent set of balls in your hand for the first time, you know what I mean.
Oh! and no I didn't invent it, exactly...
Isabel Kerr said...
Oh! and no I didn't invent it, exactly...
A Nobel Prize to whoever did, and mille grazie for bringing it to my (and whoever else's) attention.
A magnificent set of balls.... Hmmmn. Yes. I am going to mull this one over for a while. ;-)
"I'm snarky like that. Sue me."
Actually, for a girl like you, I think a good sound spanking would be more appropriate.
Oh, my god. If I got a spanking each time I was snarky, I would never ever sit down!
XXX,
AT
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