Cut Yourself Some Fucking Slack

I believe that every writer will find an audience for his or her story. I had this discussion with a fellow the other day who wanted me to say out loud that some writing just plain sucks. And I wouldn't. Sure, technically speaking some writers are better than others. And not all stories that I read work for me. But I do believe there is an outlet somewhere for every writer. (And if there's not, people should make their own. I'm not just saying that.) Yeah, rejection sucks. But the aim, the goal, the brass ring is to believe that your work is beautiful.

In the bigger picture (and sure, go ahead, cue the sappy music)—I believe that everyone is beautiful.

This topic's been in my head for a few days now because a friend of mine is having a difficult time with her looks. I've hit this before here, and I don't like to wallow or give too much space to such a damn cliche, but I had an eating disorder for seven years. (I stopped because something astronomically awful happened to me. And I decided that the world might beat me up, but I would not beat myself up anymore. Light a candle. Say a prayer.)

So I assured my friend—who is fucking gorgeous— "Look, everyone's beautiful. Really, you can find something stunning in every person." (Honest to god, I have always felt that way. I simply didn't feel that way about myself for those seven years.)

She looked at me, and I could see in her eyes that she did not believe my words. So I said, "If you weren't in you, you'd find something smashing about yourself. You'd like your hair, and your eyes, and the curves of your body, your skin and your pretty feet. You wouldn't see the flaws." (Which I never see as flaws, anyway.)

We cut everyone else so much slack, and then we turn around and use that slack to tie ourselves up so fucking tight.

It's kismet or deja vu, no wait—synchronicity that Donna George Storey has also been spiraling around this theme, and she landed on one of my stories the other day that sort of fits the bill. But the piece that stands out in my mind is one by Isabel Kerr. I am emailing her to see if she'll put up the story on her blog. I think it bookends mine.

UPDATE: Isabel graciously put up her piece: Love At First Sight.

Before I read Donna's post, I was going to pen a version of this. My sappy happy: "you write well and you're pretty. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise." I planned to add in a line that said: remember to think "I'm fabulous" before you sit down at the computer—and remember to say "I'm beautiful" before you walk away from the mirror.

There's something in your work that will resonate with a reader, that will linger, that will stay. And there's something in your eyes, in the tilt of your smile, in the way you hold your posture, in the lines of your face that is beautiful.

Find it. Own it.

Cut yourself some slack.

XXX,
Alison

P.S. Go to Sommer's House today. She's coming. Or something. And she's pretty. And she writes well.
P.P.S. Necklace is from Metal Taboo, of course. Remember, one lucky commenter on her interview will win the word necklace of his/her choice!