October 27, 2009

Fuck it


I got quiet yesterday because I was paying bills. Hospital bills and doctor bills. Currently, I think we have seven we are paying monthly—and the ones I wrote out yesterday totaled several thousand dollars. At least, we have our health. Heh. Because, damn. We don't have any money. I know the rest of the world is in the same situation we are. Maybe not exactly the same—but close enough. In that tight spot where the button contests I used to throw weekly got to be too much for me—I never thought I'd run out of prize money. But then, I never thought I'd be looking at a twenty-six thousand dollar surgery bill.

My goal, though, is to learn from this year. To learn from the negatives and the positives. From the fact that Sam still believes he leads a perfect life. From the fact that family has come through for us when I couldn't even open my mouth to ask. And I'm trying to help, too. I've mentioned that our second company hit the skids in 07 when the book club closed. This year, we've been donating our non-erotic titles to United Way—which makes me feel positive in a negative situation. I know our books are going to places in need.

This post doesn't have a point. (Okay, when do my posts ever *really* have a point?) It's more of a wave from the lonely island of Fuck It. I'm feeling a world better today. I knew I would be. Back in a bit with a request... and no, not for money.

XXX,
Alison

4 comments:

Erobintica said...

coming soon to a search string near you...

fucking hospital bills up the ass

;-)

Alison Tyler said...

Yeah. That's one I'm looking forward to!

XXX,
AT

Scarlett Greyson said...

LOL...no doubt!

I'll give a big "Fuck it!" to the world too, AT. After this weekend(which the man won't let me surrender) we're strapping the belt a few holes tighter to get out of a whole caused by medical bills. They're aren't so rough as yours, but I feel ya.

Or...I would, just to see if you'd laugh!

*big hugs*

SG

Anonymous said...

"(Okay, when do my posts ever *really* have a point?) It's more of a wave from the lonely island of Fuck It. I'm feeling a world better today. I knew I would be."

Somebody misses your pointless messages over where it feels a world better today as well, as you knew it would be, in distant Noncookingland.
XXX