October 10, 2009
So, I quit Facebook. And, um, Twitter, too. Seems that about the same time each month, I kind of freak out. And yeah, I figured that out all by myself. Because I am Einstein. But mostly I quit because I was just pretty lame at both Facebooking and Twittering. But here is the funny part. It took forever to quit Facebook. When I tried the first time, I was presented with a page that asked why I was leaving. There were assorted possible answers, plus OTHER. I chose OTHER, then hit "disable my account," and then waited, thinking I was good to go.
But no. Facebook presented me with images of four people I don't know (but who I suppose I am "friends" with) and told me those four people would miss me, and asked me if I wanted to write any of them a message. I said NO, and waited again to be told I was done.
Ha! But I fucked up. Turns out, if you choose OTHER, you have to write in a reason. So instead, I chose one of the pre-selected reasons, which included things like FACEBOOK TAKES UP TOO MUCH TIME, I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW TO USE FACEBOOK, FACEBOOK SENDS ME TOO MANY EMAILS, etc. So I chose the last one. Facebook then told me I could reconfigure my settings so I would not get so many emails. Facebook then showed me four more people I don't know and told me *these* four people would miss me, and asked me if I wanted to write *them* any messages.
I learned that all of the possible reasons for leaving Facebook are handled with solutions by Facebook of why you should stay. So I chose OTHER again. And was shown four more people, people who long for messages from me. Because I had fucked up a third time and forgotten to give a reason. So I gave a fucking reason. My reason was: "I don't like Facebook." (I think I was ambivalent about FB before. But after being presented with 12 people I don't know, all of whom apparently sit forlornly in their rooms wishing I would send them messages, I was feeling too guilt-ridden to come up with anything better.)
And then, on a roll, I quit Twitter. Which was comparatively easy. I just quit. No friends shown. No reasons stated. Only a draconian little warning that I was about to do something sorta upid-stay.
I don't hate either of the two interfaces. I don't think evil thoughts about anyone who uses Facebook or Twitter. (Hi, Mom!) I just felt so useless at both that I needed to hit delete. I mean, I don't have a cell phone. I don't go many places. I have no reason to Tweet.
I just hope those twelve individuals will accept my most sincere apologies. I'd miss them, too. If I knew who the fuck they were.
P.S. Although I wouldn't really wear this Tweet necklace, I am all about the helvetica one and the kern rings! My friend and I used to use the word "kern" as our go-to verb. I don't know why. We were always kerning everything. Word geeks of the world, unite!