October 07, 2009

It's just a jump to the left...

A younger friend of mine went to Rocky Horror for the first time last weekend. He dressed as Brad. And I was so damn jealous. But I listened to the whole story—with him blushing the entire time. Swear to god, he was transformed. Like I, swear to god, was transformed back in the day. Rocky Horror, in my opinion, is magic.

But then last night, I dreamed about going to the Rocky Horror at the theater in my town that no longer exists. I saw a line of kids getting ready to go to the midnight show. And I stopped them and asked them if being a teenager was any less terrifying than when I was one. Most of the kids stared at me like I was crazy. But one girl came up to me and said, "I don't know. How scary was it?" I didn't have an answer. And then she smiled and said, "Well, how scary is being a grown-up?" And I said, "Pretty fucking terrifying."

I woke up crying. And I have to say, I don't really know why.

But I remember that freedom. Being in the dark and watching the movie for the first time. And really thinking that hell, I didn't have to fit in. I looked around and saw that you could be a weirdo or a misfit or a fuck-up. And you'd be okay.

Did Rocky Horror do that for you? Did something else? For me. It's magic. I swear. I just have to glance at the movie poster and I'm back there. In the dark. G's arm across my shoulder. I know the popcorn scent, and the sticky floors, and the squeaky velvet chairs. And the anthem: *Don't dream it. Be it.*

And I don't why. But it's not so scary anymore.


1 comment:

Angell said...

Rocky Horror changed my life. Suddenly I wasn't alone.

Suddenly, being normal didn't matter. Being myself did.

But being a teenager wasn't NEARLY as terrifying as being an adult is turning out to be.