March 11, 2010

Can you hear me NOW?

I have to continue my rant from the other day. See, I cracked myself all kinds of up. I'd been receiving these draconian emails from a mega-company. The organization wanted me to scan and upload 64 covers to their FTP site. They made a big deal about how Borders desired access to these covers. Well, Borders has ordered exactly zero books from us for the past 18 months. (This is for our non-erotic company, I should add.) So I wasn't tripping over myself to scan and send.

The emails I got were progressively aggressive:

So this is what I did. I wrote back to the woman and I thanked her for her emails. And then I said, Our current charge for scanning and uploading covers is $25 a title. Once we have your check for $1600 in hand, we will be happy to get the covers to you asap.

She wrote me back all confused. "We don't PAY for uploads! We are providing a service for YOU!"

I'm still smiling.


P.S. You type in "caps" + "yelling" on ETSY and you get Billy Idol. Oh, my god. How killer is that? As you can imagine, I heart the hell out of Billy Idol. Big time.


Madeline Elayne said...

Too funny! Do you think maybe you broke them?

Billy Idol on a bottlecap, eh? You can get anything on the internet these days...

Alison Tyler said...

No, you can't! I have a jacket in my head that I cannot find anywhere! I want a trench-style jacket made of newsprint fabric. I found this amazing motorcycle jacket—which I would have bought in a heartbeat—but it's too big.

I am always dumbstruck when I foil the internet.



Dayle A. Dermatis said...

LOL! How stunningly perverse of you!

Angell said...

LOL - thanks for the post for the necklace. I ordered it for my bestie who really needs a smile these days - she worships Billy so this will do the trick.

Sean Bossinger said...

Borders. Wants 64 of your covers. And wants you to do the work for free.

Wow. They're dumber than I thought.

When I worked for them they thought they were smart reducing hours so employees would lose their fringe benefits, but this takes the cake.

I like how you handled it tho. That's totally classy!

Alison Tyler said...

Well, it was more complicated than that. I have to say if Borders — or *any* of the big box stores — had bought our books regularly, we would have done mucho work for free. And we would probably not have had to close our warehouse.

But these were 64 out of print titles. They exist nowhere except in storage and through used-book vendors. So they're really no use to anyone. The company that wanted us to upload the book covers really just wants to be able to say they have 6 million searchable book covers, or something like that.

Which is why I enjoyed myself immensely with my email exchange.