August 22, 2010

I am fucking unique.


(And you thought his name was Sam.) No really. There's only one me like me. How can I tell? Because things that I want do not exist. Rug covered with lipstick kisses. Nope. Trench-style coat made of newsprint fabric. Uh uh. Red metal two-drawer filing cabinet. In your dreams, baby. (No worries. I'll spray paint the black one scarlet.)

But even things that *used* to exist, do not exist for me.

• I could not find H20 on CD. I bought it on vinyl. (Better, anyway.)

• I cannot get my hands on paperback copies of Getting It Right, which I think is the most fabulous book ever written.

• I would kill for my original editions of Diva, Luna, Nana, Lola, Vida, and Alba — candy-colored paperbacks that delighted me to no end.

• I have tried without success to locate any proof that "Lipstick on Her Collar" by Beatnik Beach ever even existed.

• Trust me. I have searched high and low for two t-shirts. One said, "You're soaking in it," and had the nameplate "Madge" over the breast. The other sported a face with Raybans tilted — the words said, "It's not who you are, it's what you wear. Because nobody really cares about who you are."

• I can't find Cutex liplgoss in Sealily or Brucci nailpolish in Mono Blue.

• My favorite black, chem-teacher-style eyeglasses have been discontinued. The numbers directly before and after 359 are still in play. Only mine have disappeared.

• Those cobalt blue knee-hi docs exist only in my high-school memories. 20 eyelet. Heavy as concrete blocks. How I miss them.

What the fuck?

This happens to me over and over. *I* stump the internet.

I have taken solace in the fact that, clearly, I am all by myself on this tiny island. But that doesn't make my dreams of one day working in an office with a red filing cabinet and a lipstick-kissed rug fade away.

So how about you? Is there something *you* can't find? Did it used to exist long ago, or is this a creation you've invented—at least, in your mind?

Now to go put Maneater on my Wildcat.

XXX,
Alison

2 comments:

Danielle said...

ah..i lost allready so many rings..and i once lost a chain my sister had ordered customade for me many years ago...andthe way i lost it..is so..untell-able that i never could confess how and where and it still makes me sad because that chain and pendant was really lovely...


and for other things..i always search for things that dont exist..or dont exist anymore...

Alison Tyler said...

I'm glad it's not just me. I'm always surprised when I manage to confuse Google or stymy ETSY!

XXX,
Alison