February 11, 2013
The Billionaire Made Me Do It
I'm bad. I know it. I poke fun. I jest. But I couldn't help myself. I was dumbfounded by how many novels there are now about billionaires. I've known some pretty fucking wealthy people in my life. Rolls Royce Ghost Wealthy. Go to Paris for the weekend wealthy. But seriously. The amount of novels about billionaire men makes it seem as if you run into these people every day. On the street corner. While buying your coffee. Or tying your shoe. There's even a perfume.
Of course, my tastes tend to run to other "b" words. Butcher. Baker. Barber. Bartender. Or even bedroom. Boudoir. Back alley. ("The Back-Alley Billionaire." Now, *that* has a ring to it.)
I had some fun yesterday on Twitter, tossing out the query: Who feels like writing a novel that begins—"He wasn't a billionaire."
And this is what I got back:
"He wasn't a billionaire, he didn't have a ten inch cock, and he wasn't even an model. He was just a man who wanted to dom."
"He wasn't even pretty boy handsome. Not by a long shot..."
"He wasn't a billionaire... He was a quadrillion-zillion-bazillionare! In fact, he made billionaires his bitch, just for fun."
"He was a lonely dairy farmer. She had a thing for udders. Read about their passionate romance in 50 Shades of Hay.
Love when people come out to play. And the "he made billionaires his bitch, just for fun" had me laughing even when I thought about it later. (So that people looked at me strangely at the grocery store.)
The other trope that has trod on me too often is that sad, sad lady librarian. Oh, is she ever sad. And a bit, you know, pent up. She's, what's the word, oh, yes. Repressed. Better take her hair down. And slip off her glasses. Maybe we could even hook her up with a billionaire if we tried hard enough. (I'm not the only one who feels this way. When searching for "repressed librarian" I found: "I'm thinking of issuing a fatwa against all writers who portray librarians as repressed sex pots. I'm a librarian, and while it's interesting to see how my profession is portrayed in fiction, especially romance, too many romance writers tend to use the librarian as an archetype for the surface-frigid woman just waiting for a chance to let loose.")
What story do *you* want to start? Or, you know, end.
P.S. That said—I am all for turning the tables on tropes. If you have the best billionaire idea in the world, by all means, go for it. But just be aware... there are billionaires by the billion right now.