December 18, 2013

Hey, Big Spender...

So you've got $10 bucks in your pocket and you want to buy me a present. Oh, wait. This wasn't a guide of gift for moi? How strange. I thought when you said you were looking to buy something for someone special, you meant... oh, well. My mistake. Here we go.

$10. Don't you feel rich? Don't you feel all, "Hey, Big Spender?" Okay, now we all have to slip over to Youtube to watch Shirley Bassey. The song will put us in the proper frame of mind.

Ready? Well, ten dollars will actually win you quite a lot of bang. You know, for your buck. You can go a few different routes. You can buy five or ten smaller items (see my guides for $1 and $2 dollar gifts). Or you can blow the whole wad on a solitary gift, like...

Shirley Bassey's Greatest Hits... yours for $9.49—as well as many other awesome CDs.

• A bouquet of flowers—$10 will get you something gorgeous, like the $9.99 roses in the picture above.

• A plant—not for me, of course, as I am a bad gardener. (In fact, I think Mitch Hedberg was talking about me when he said, "My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.") But many people like live plants.

• Soap & Glory's "A Great Kisser."

• Obsessive Compulsive Cosmetics Nail Polishes. The colors are insane! I want Pond, Lust Garten, and Arsenic...

• Clean Rollerball Set. I love rollerball perfumes. I don't know why. But this also gives me the notion to mention a cheap trick for gifts. Buy sets and divide and conquer. I mean, divide them among your friends. You can snag Tocca's Meet the Girls perfume set for $62, and divvy up among 5 or 10 buddies.

Erasers. Give all to one lucky person, or spread the wealth.

Pencils (especially from The Carbon Crusader). Hey, did you just have the same idea as I did? You could get a pencil set and an eraser set and give them together!

• Ornaments. Yes, I am one of those people who goes a little gaga for pretty ornaments. Especially, shiny ones. For $10, you can snag some seriously special selections. Or buy a set and, oh, you know where I'm going with this...

• Magnets. Buttonhead sells sets, like this Rocky-Horror-collection. Love them. Only $6.50!

• Advil. Heh. I adore how it's sold on Amazon under "office products." But if you have someone with a sense of humor on your list, why not stick a fancy bow on a big bottle?

• Pink champagne. Champagne, I just learned recently, can help your memory. You can buy champagne for under $10 that is totally drinkable. I swear. I did the research myself. (The things I do for you.)

All right, so now we're at the smutty-portion of our journey. $10 will buy you so many books:

• Dark Secret Love is $9.99 on Kindle
Sudden Sex is also $9.99
Morning Noon and Night is $9.99, as well. 

In fact, so many of the Kindles are $9.99, or less, you can just scroll here.

Or if you'd like a little paper with your porn—I mean, an actual, hold in your hands paperback, check out Restless Spirit by Sommer Marsden. Yours right now for $9.87

Graydancer just dropped me a note to say that his novel, Nawashi, is available for $6.

Do you have any items you'd care to add? Or do you simply want to thank me for drinking champagne among my plastic plants? Either way, comment for a chance to win assorted gifts from me!


P.S. Winner of my $2 gift guide goodies is Angell Brooks!


Miz Angell said...

I wins?? YAY me. :D

Ok so for $10...hmmm. We've covered the socks portion of legwear.

How about fuzzy slippers?

Or gorgeous patterned tights? And while we're in the foot region...

Pedicure kit. Something peppermint.

Also, if you have a big kid on your list, around this time (the week before Christmas) major department and big box stores have sales on toys, toys and TOYS.

Or books - lots and lots of books...

Man, now I wanna go shopping again. Have I finished my Christmas list? Oh well, everyone could use a few more things.

ad0ffae6-78f6-11e1-8cde-000bcdcb5194 said...

Sigh, Mitch Hedberg, God rest his soul! Anyway, I always like those fancy tinned lip balms, which are usually around $6 or $7. (There's even one that comes in a little patterned toy duck--God, I wish I'd snapped up one when I saw it.) Little notebooks are good. You could buy packs of fancy postcards and divvy them up however your budget allows. Origami packets are nice (I like the patterned kinds). And I know I'll think of more...

Trix, vitajex(at)aol(Dot)com

Giselle Renarde said...

Let's have a little look-see in this week's Canadian Tire flyer...

Oooh there's a leather tool belt on sale for $7.99! If I were the type of person who wanted things, I'd want that.

Other Canadian Tire-oriented gifts under $10:

-a frying pan
-knives (I got my entire knife block on sale for $9.99--mind you that was in 2002)
-pliers! (why can I never find needle-nosed pliers when I need them?)
-a huge-ass package of batteries (wink wink, nudge nudge)
-GLASS food storage containers (you can microwave them!)
-home canning supplies, like mason jars and lids
-good scissors (something else I'm always losing)
-a cutting board

Obviously I'm a very practical person.

And I'll give my books a quick plug, since I've finally made Nanny State, Girls Gone Carnal, and Secret Confessions available in print and they're all under $10 each. (I think I priced them at $7.99 via Createspace?)

Erzabet Bishop said...

A 10 dollar Amazon card makes me over the moon with happiness. I could buy tons of awesome books, tunes and even a movie. Love= Amazon card.


Erzabetwrites at

Geeky Nymph said...

Ten bucks could get me a sexy soap dish. (I've been lusting after it.)

Or a box of truffles.