January 01, 2015

The First Day


I lost my mojo for a little while there. My moxie fled. I couldn't get up for the downstroke.

Why?

From late summer through until now, I've been mired in publishing hell. Which is nothing totally new, but this situation is different from previous experiences. The quicksand sucked me down. Too many hours, days, weeks have been robbed from me. And it's not over.

When I can't concentrate on writing, my energy does strange things. I'm always up. Really. I have poor sleep habits. But I like to focus on the words. And with bullshit nagging at me, I have a difficult time. The words still come, but they're strange and garbled. Another language. One I can't always decipher.

On top of that—I had the virtual wind knocked out of me this fall. I was taken by surprise, which happens a lot. Honestly. Even after all these years, I'm an accidental ingenue.

So suddenly I find myself erring on the side of caution. Sliding into the Levis armor. Playing it safe rather than sorry.

That's okay. I like the fact that my forties are more about new beginnings rather than old favorites. When one door closes another opens? Fuck that. I'm knocking down the doors this year. I'm tossing all the keys in the air. And I'm blowing up the buildings.

I've got plans for 2015. I'll let you in on them as I bring each one to fruition.

And sure—I still have to deal with the great sucking quicksand. But I'm walking around the perimeter. I refuse to fall in.

My moxie?

Yeah.

I think it's back.

XXX,
Alison

4 comments:

delilahnight.com said...

Random aside--the drink in your picture? Moxie was invented in Lisbon Falls, Maine--which I know because I lived there in 7th grade. Also from Lisbon--Stephen King went to high school there.

All I really remember about it was having a massive crush on my friend's older brother and nothing coming of it. Also, we sang "Wind Beneath My Wings" in the high school concert because it was 1991.

Sacchi Green said...

I'm in some of the same quicksand that you are, Alison, and not trusting much of the other terrain around me even when it isn't quaking yet. Moving along, though, no matter what.

Miz Angell said...

Yay! I'm hoping that your moxie has seen my get-up-and-go, cuz mine got up and went without telling me.

Kick down those doors, knock in the walls and remodel in your own fashion.

Alison Tyler said...

Sorry to hear that Sacchi. The situation can be so draining... but I'm happy to move along with you.

And Delilah—I had no idea the history behind Moxie. Thank goodness it was invented!

Angell, my moxie will definitely play nice with your get-up-and-go!

XXX,
Alison