September 18, 2015

Antisocial? Join the Club.

I think people are more comfortable saying they are anti-social these days because there are so many reasons to be anti-social. If you make a statement—pick a statement, any statement—someone will decry or deny, decimate or dominate. The other day, a stranger read my bio and attacked my music preferences.

Dude. Nine years ago I said I liked a band. How does you telling me my taste sucks help anyone?

(Not that everything you do has to be helpful. But could average interactions not be assholian?)

If you engage on a public platform, you'll have to deal with trolls and douchebags. This has happened to me multiple times. I'm never prepared for it. I don't want to prepare for it. My first-aid kit has band-aids and iodine. Nothing for emotional warfare.

My thoughts to tend to spiral. (My notes do, too.) I come around again and again to this:

I want to produce good work.
I don't want to add to anyone else's misery.

I'm putting this out simply. Before you say something to someone—think about how they'll feel hearing it. Or better yet: Think about how you would feel if someone said the same thing to you.

It's so basic.

Of course, we'll all make mistakes. I put my foot in my mouth so often that I'm pretty accustomed to the taste of shoe by now. Mmmm. Shoes.

And there are causes worth fighting for. Worth riling people up over. (Up over?) Worth going to the trenches for. That's not what I'm talking about. (Wow, we should call this National End a Sentence with a Preposition Day.)

But if you look in the mirror and see a troll staring back, maybe it's time to make a change.



Miz Angell said...

I saw that. I was like WTF? Dude has no life whatsoever if that's all he has to say. And I feel sad when people waste words like that.

Jo said...

Yup. Call it what you will, but I've started a policy of unfollowing people who make me feel bad. I spend too much time online, but the idea that I'd spend it upsetting myself and getting anxious (not to mention fearing for the immediate future of the human race) is counter productive and stupid. Bit harder when they follow you home, does blogger let you block people? If it does, block the fucker. Nobody needs this!!

Sommer Marsden said...

Assholian=new fave word :) I am antisocial because most people make me exhausted. I tend to go for quality over quantity. Everyone seems to be angry and because they're unhappy they like to shit on other people who say they like this or like that or something is important to them. So I hide. Or make driveby statements and ignore the input. I have learned truly that you don't have to attend every argument you're invited to. And that shirt...don't even get me started...*covets it (my precious)* :)

Alison Tyler said...

This saves me, and I learned it from you, SM. "You don't have to attend every argument..." I don't really want to attend *any* arguments. I want to attend galas and gang bangs, but no arguments!