December 05, 2015

"Cheap Soft Porn"

Several years ago, two readers mistakenly bought one of my short fetish stories because the title was similar to a crime novel. (My story came first by about six years.) I've done things like this. I watched a film called Betty (I think) when a friend recommended Betty Blue. I caught my error and rented the correct film later. (And I recall enjoying both.)

In this case, rather than simply return the ebook and go on their merry way, both customers left one-star reviews.

In their reviews, the readers admitted they intended to buy the other book—the one on book club lists, the one written by a different author with a different name, the one that didn't say "erotic content," kinky, fetish, etc. (You can hear me losing my mind here because on the Amazon page, it actually states: "The story deals not only with rubber as a fetish, but with exhibitionism, voyeurism, and most important: longing.")

One reader simply wrote: NOT THE BOOK I WAS EXPECTING (over and over). The other explained that s/he had bought the title in error, and then complained that the story was short (not even a book!) and called my happy little kink story "cheap soft porn."

I stumbled on the reviews a while ago. (Years, maybe.) And every so often, I land on the thought in my mental travels. Sometimes I imagine walking into the wrong store—say, a shoe store—and being indignant because the place doesn't sell fish. ("I came in here wanting fresh salmon! How dare you sell shoes?") Then there's this bafflement I always feel when someone buys an item that states "24 pages, short story, 2775 words" and then bewails about the length. This mini skirt? It's not a maxi! These shorts are not pants! This shot of whiskey is *not* the whole bottle.


But this morning, I woke with an unexpected brainwave. Yes, yes, I have too many projects begun and not enough projects ended. I am writing on Figment every night and my cougar novel every day. I'm letting several sultry anthologies sizzle on all of my bunsen burners. But I started a new book today called Cheap Soft Porn.

And I'm ecstatic.

Lemons into lemonade?
No. A slap into a tickle.

That's far more my speed.


1 comment:

Miz Angell said...

Nothing wrong with cheap, soft porn. Or hell - cheap hard porn. :P

People don't read. Ironically, when talking about buying books. But I find, in general, people are in too much of a hurry to notice little details - or in the cases I've noticed - large lettered signs. And then they get mad when they wander somewhere they're not supposed to be and have to leave.

Example: I work security. Every year, during a ten-day long event, I put notices up : "NO PUBLIC ACCESS" "Employees ONLY", etc. And, inevitably, every year, some jackass or ten, wander through the doors or curtain and say "Well I didn't see the sign."