May 30, 2016

I heart you...

I've been editing recently.

More serious editing than I've ever done in my life. You see, I've been editing my filing cabinet. My computer. My closet. This blog. My dresser. My bookshelves. My office. My inbox. My life.

At one point, this site boasted nearly 5,000 posts. Now, I'm down to under 1,000. Why? Because it's time. Time for me to get rid of the excess weight.

What am I keeping? That's a good fucking question. As far as I can tell, I'm keeping anything that delights me.

This is interesting, honestly, in the mess of letters and papers I paw through. Greeting cards with faded signatures? Tossed. Even if they're from people I love. But a 23-year old scrawled note from an editor I worshipped? Kept. Letters from best friends I no longer know? Tossed. But photographs of the arms—yes, the arms—of a French beau I made out with decades ago? Kept.

What's the point?

I have an end in sight. I have a goal. A place I'd like to be. With a filing cabinet I can find things in. A closet of clothes I adore. A bookshelf of titles I would re-read any day. A memory box of the type of memories worth, well, remembering.

Along the way, I've tripped over concert stubs for shows I have no recollection of attending. (I saw Paul McCartney? Really? How fucking cool is that?)

For this blog, I figure if I can hone this down to the pieces that resonate, I'll feel good. And sure, there are sad posts, and a few rants here and there, and poems, dreams, porn, and hope. Why?

Simple. Life.

But mostly there are words. Words that show I'm striving every day to become better at the only thing I've ever wanted to be. A writer. I'm struggling. I'm putting one word after the other as I've done since I first held a pencil, slammed the keys on a typewriter, met my first computer.

And I'm grateful as fuck for everyone who has been willing to join me on the ride. So I wanted you to know that I ♥ you.


1 comment:

Jim Scovill said...

Love you too Alison