Sommer has corrupted me. No, not in the way that you're thinking. (Wait, what are you thinking? It was Kristina Lloyd who corrupted me that way. In the kitchen. With the equine speculum. Damn. I can never ever spell "equine" correctly. But "speculum" just somehow rolls off my fingertips.) What I was saying is that Sommer's style of misreading has spread to me. Somehow. Like, I saw "CNN Anchor's Mother Turns to Smut," and I read "turns to Smurf."
And yesterday, I saw a sign that read: The American Society of Spanking. And I'm thinking—ASS? That's so clever! Then I did a double-take and realized that the sign read: The American Society of Banking. Oh, well. Not that interesting at all. When I passed the sign a third time, I saw that it read: The American Society of Baking.
For fuck's sake.
I really need to get my eyes checked.
Or my ass banked.
XXX,
Alison
