January 07, 2010
2009 ravaged me. I didn't sleep well. I didn't eat well. And I worried all the fricking time. You can see 2009 in the hollows under my eyes and the lines in my forehead. You can see 2009 in all of the recent photographs of me. But I don't care. Because 2010 is the year I've decided to choose beauty.
Do you know what I mean? The lines are there to stay, but the attitude behind the lines has shifted. See, I am embracing the frippery again. I am reveling in colors and silver-dangling earrings that nearly hit my shoulders, and glossy black leather boots that ride higher than my knees. And I'm even embracing those hollows and smudge-marks under my eyes. Because we lived through a year. Sam has the actual scars—and I have the worry scars. And fucking hell if I'm not going to wear them with pride.
The other afternoon, I ran into a deejay we know. Carly said, "Do you know how Sam talks about you?"
"What do you mean?"
"Your name comes up and he says, 'Isn't my wife beautiful?'"
Truly. So this year, I'm going to be. Lines and scars and hollows and all.
And I was wondering... won't you choose beauty with me?
P.S. This tiny camera necklace is only one of many charming items I am lusting after by phoebe marie, who has the most fabulous intro ever: "hi. i'm phoebe marie. i like photography and cupcakes and things that are deadly."